It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
