was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
