I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
