the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
