Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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