phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
