I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
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