It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
This is my gift to your gina
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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