im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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