you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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