the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
from now on my penis is your penis
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Randomize
