Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
