I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
she peed on how many people?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Are my feet made of real feet?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Randomize
