guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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