...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
