he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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