a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
