I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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