he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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