we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
