You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize