Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
