So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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