I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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