Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
