I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
