Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
