Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
