its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
