census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize