You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
