just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize