I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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