I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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