Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
