i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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