it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
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The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
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I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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