Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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