I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woke up backwards on a recliner
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
