just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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