Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
