i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
