Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize