So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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