your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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