I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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