so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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