Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
