the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
