Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
