I want to make a zoo with you.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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