I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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