Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
