I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
