The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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