I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
