He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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