apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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