3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
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i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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