We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
